“Paying it Foward” Jenny Stark’s story part 2

This story is from a collection of stories found on this website: www.createdwoman.net

This is part 2 of Jenny Stark’s story. Please read part 1 if you have not read it yet.

Written by Martha Bush

“This is Just a Season” was read by over 2,000 viewers on CREATED WOMAN this past year.  It was the story of forty-year-old Jenny Stark from Orange, Texas, and her journey with breast cancer.  Jenny’s courage to embrace breast cancer,  her desire to help others traveling down the same road, and her faith was truly a class act.

Knowing that Jenny was going to have reconstructive surgery within a few months after that story, I wanted to do a follow-up article on her.  Discussing this with her, she told me that her surgery, called a TRAM-FLAP, was scheduled for October 10, 2011.  I suggested that we wait until after the surgery to let viewers know how she was doing.

Immediately, she replied:  “No, I don’t want this article to be about me and my surgery.”  “I want it to be about  Paying it Forward.”  “Paying it forward?”  I asked.  “Yes!”  “The knowledge I have learned through my own trials, equipped me in helping someone else through theirs.”  “It’s like passing the baton,” Jenny explained.

And so it was- – – this is where I picked up on Jenny’s story from last year of how Jenny went about Paying it Forward to a friend and former co-worker at the bank where Jenny had once been employed.

Like most women when they first hear the news from their local doctor that they have cancer, Jenny’s friend was shocked and afraid to proceed to the next step.  The next step called for her traveling two hours away from her home in Orange to M.D. Anderson Hospital in Houston, Texas, for more tests.  “I will go with you,” Jenny told her friend.

When she received word from her doctor that she would need Chemotherapy, Jenny went with her on her first treatment.  When she was given a Saturday appointment for a CT scan, Jenny volunteered to drive her.  When it came time to get the results of that test, her friend was too scared to receive the news herself over the phone.  Jenny placed the call with her to get the results one way or the other, so she wouldn’t have to wait the entire weekend with no results.

Jenny went so far as to fill in for her friend at the bank on a part time basis in her absence.  She wanted to relieve her of the worries or concerns that she may have, so she could totally focus on getting better.

Jenny emphasized the importance of making yourself available for the FIRST OF EVERYTHING to the one who has been diagnosed with cancer.”  “It’s not so much that you have to attach yourself permanently to that person,” Jenny explained.  “It’s a matter of being willing to be a servant, to be there for that person, whether it’s driving them to their  appointments, or just answering their questions.”  “In short, make yourself available to do everything that is in your power for them in their time of need.”

Jenny also introduced her friend to the  “Do and Don’t list when faced with cancer, as she had detailed in This is Just a Season.  Jenny very emphatically reiterates two that she feels strongly about:

1.  Don’t get on the internet when your doctor confirms that you have cancer.  Everyone’s breast cancer is unique; what you find on the internet may not apply to you.  Besides, it only creates anxiety to find information that might not even apply to your situation. Let your doctor explain to you the steps to be followed according to your specific situation. He will also keep you at the point where you need to be in at the present time.

2.  Do ask God for direction in choosing the right hospital, and follow the doctor’s orders in charge.  “You see, it works like this,” Jenny explained.  “There is a big difference when faced with making crucial decisions based on our emotions rather than on praying and asking God for directions.”  “As we receive directions from God, He will guide us to the right hospital, as well as the right doctors whom he has given wisdom and skill.”  “God, the hospital, and the doctor work as a team in restoring your health.”

As Jenny and I talked on in general about the storms of life that come to all of us at times, I marveled at her insight and wisdom of how to walk through those storms and not become a victim to them.   “Wow, you are so wise!” I exclaimed.  She laughed and then gave me an illustration, using her hands in a lowered position, then in an upward position.

 “You are never down; you are either up or getting up.”  If you are getting up, you are moving in an upward position.  Picture yourself moving in the direction toward God.  If you are down, you are not moving at all, so always be leaning towards Him or on Him.”

We glanced at our watches and two hours had passed since our conversation had begun.  I could have lingered in her presence another two hours gleaning wisdom from her. We  prayed together for her upcoming reconstructive surgery, and as we were saying our goodbyes, Jenny remarked:  “I had no idea what I was going to say when I met with you today.”  “I had no notes; I just knew I wanted to talk about my friend, and my journey with her this past year.”

My thought was:  Jenny didn’t need any notes.  Her heartfelt message poured out from within of her desire and hope that she had helped her friend.

I personally believe that God is smiling down on Jenny saying:

“You have answered The Discipleship Call.  You have BELIEVED, LIVED, LOVED, MINISTERED, and LEAD your friend through her journey with cancer this past year.”

.  “Well Done!”  “I am pleased with my servant, Jenny.”

“You Paid it Forward!”

“This Is Just a Season” Jenny Stark’s story part 1

This story comes from a collection of stories found on this website: www.createdwoman.net

Story written by Martha Bush

She walked into the Prayer Room of Community Church, Orange, Texas, where we had agreed to meet.    Her beauty could be described simply as “the look of Barbie.”  She had a smile that lit up her face, soft curls in her neatly coiffed hairstyle, and her eyes glowed and twinkled as though she had something exciting to tell me.

Her name is Jenny Stark, an only child, 40 years of age, and married to Bill for ten years.  Before I could bring out the list of questions I had prepared to ask her, she began telling her story.  Thirty minutes later, she paused and sweetly asked:   “Is there anything else you would like to know?”

Glancing quickly over my list of questions, to my amazement, she had covered them all, as I had sat quietly; totally mesmerized while she talked.  The story was within her, and it had flowed out from within as natural as her beauty—with ease, class, and well informed of her situation

Jenny’s journey began in March, 2008, when she found a lump in her left breast.  It didn’t alarm her because for the past 10 years, her doctor had monitored a cyst in her right breast.  To Jenny, this was probably just another cyst. The new lump did have a slight redness to it, but Jenny reasoned that:  “My bra is doing this to me; I need to get rid of this bra!  Besides I have a doctor’s appointment in May.  That will be soon enough to check out  my left breast.”

May came, and her local doctor took one look at it, and ordered tests.  Within a couple of days, Jenny called for the results.  “Where are you?  Is someone with you,” the doctor asked on the other end of the phone.  And with that, he said:  “I’m not going to beat around the bush—you do have breast cancer.” 

To Jenny, everything he said from that point on was just “blab blab blab.”  Finally she interrupted the doctor and said: “I have to go now.”   Her “shock moment” was upon her, as she poured out her first wave of tears on her Mother’s shoulders.

Thankfully, Jenny had a close girlfriend who was a doctor who got the wheels spinning quickly and arranged for her to go to M.D. Anderson in Houston, Texas.  By the time she reached M.D. Anderson, the tears had stopped, and Jenny’s stamina for tackling “her cancer” head-on had kicked in.  Jenny explained that she called it “her cancer”  because everyone’s situation is unique, and totally different from someone else’s.

Final tests results revealed three malignant tumors in different locations in her left breast—3rd stage cancer.  Suggested treatment:  Once a week Chemo for one year, followed by a Mastectomy, 6 weeks of Radiation, and then her first Reconstruction surgery took place in July.  Unfortunately, she developed an infection, which had to be dealt with at that time. Currently, Jenny is waiting to proceed with her final reconstructive surgery in 6 months.

Today the cancer is gone and Jenny emphasized that:

“I have no greater chance of getting cancer now than anyone else.”

Completing the story about “her cancer,” Jenny stated,  “I want other women to know  things I have learned should they ever have to walk down this road.” And with that, she began giving a list of suggestions with the same ease in which she had delivered her own story—-gently, but precisely.

1. Do not get on the internet when your doctor confirms that you have cancer.  Everyone’s breast cancer is unique; what you find on the internet may not apply to you.  Besides, it only creates anxiety to find information that might not even apply to your situation. Let your doctor explain to you the steps to be followed  according to your specific situation. He will also keep you in the step that you are to be in at the present time.
2. Do not compare your breast cancer with someone else who has had breast cancer.   Their experience and their walk will be different from yours.
3. Have a group of friends who surrounds you with prayer.
4. Attitude is the most important thing.  Wallowing in self pity only causes more problems.  I don’t question “why me?” I prefer to say, “why not me?  This is just a bump in the road of life.  Besides, who knows who my story might help.”
5. You will need a driver to take you for your treatments.
6. Do not spend much time alone.  This leaves the mind to wander and imagine.
7. Continue with everyday life.  If you are already working, keep on working, unless your doctor says otherwise.
8. It is wise to have a “secondary insurance policy” that will pick up the extra expenses of what your “primary insurance” does not pay.
9. Be cautious about the places you go while taking chemo; chemo lowers your body resistance. Jenny adds with a twinkle in her eyes,  “you might have to give up browsing in Wal-Mart.”
10. Consult with your doctor about foods that you should or should not eat. 
11. If complications do arise, trust your doctor.  Chances are he has dealt with this situation before; what you may be experiencing could just be textbook.

As our meeting was drawing to a close, there was one question that I wanted to ask Jenny even though it had been apparent to me from the start of our meeting.  “What part has your faith played throughout your journey?”  

“My faith tells me that ‘This is Just A Season’.”

And with that, we ended our meeting and we walked outside into the crisp fall air.  Both of us noticed that the weather was cooler, and the trees were starting to change colors.  Yes, a new season had begun for Mother Nature.

Just like the trees were embracing their new season in all their splendor, Jenny had embraced “her cancer” with class and beauty during this season of her life.

What a class act!!

  

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